What determines my reality? Forgive my unbelief or maybe its temporary insanity. How can I continue to focus on me when theres this reality. When I go home no man is there to offer solace or comfort but my bitter pillow for which I lay my head. Some days are wed to my nights and I dream with fright that the day I get married Ill lose my sight or forget there’s a Mr. Right..somewhere. Forgive my unbelief God I feel more lonely than a freshly polished chair left out in the air for years to dry. Maybe im exaggerating.. Dont want to die without meeting someone who will just talk to me ..is that hard to ask for. Wait why am I asking? Somehow none of the asking makes sense.. Neither should I ask for myself. I need to put my brain and heart both on the shelf and just go to work. Then look at my phone at 7 percent and gas on empty and realize maybe this ISN’T as low as I could be. Not knowing which way to turn to go home literally but facts are facts and Im not going to change that. The truth is that my faith can move mountains but what about the ones staring you in the face in that mirror.. You cannot be replaced by a different version of you..or is that even true? Im not confused but sorting through all the thoughts taking over my mental tissues and no theres no more tissue left for these issues. I gotta go back and face reality because there’s no time like the present see.. Im here. Now. Its about time I wonder no longer how im going to get on this road. Time to take on this heavy load..